Posts Tagged ‘Confidence’

Inspiration Board. Being Present. The Power of Now. Life unfolds only in moments. This the most important thing I ever learned. Nobody has ever  experienced anything that wasn’t part of a single moment unfolding. That means life’s only challenge is dealing with the single moment you are having right now. Don’t try to battle problems that aren’t  actually happening. Nobody can deal with the past or future, because, both only  exist as thoughts. BE in the present.

Life unfolds only in moments Of course! This the most important thing I ever learned. Nobody has ever experienced anything that wasn’t part of a single moment unfolding. That means life’s only challenge is dealing with the single moment you are having right now. Don’t try to battle problems that aren’t actually happening. Nobody can deal with the past or future, because, both only exist as thoughts. Be in the present.
~Sophie

If you like this… please share ♥ ♥ ♥
Thank you sooo much 😀

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Today’s Inspiration: Marcandangel.com

“Let’s start March with some interesting questions to reflect. Today’s post is packed with some thought provoking questions. You may want to bookmark this because there is so much to think about packed in this post! Whenever you are in a more reflective mood, just return to these questions and they will help you finding your own unique vision and what’s important for you in this life. Im curious to hear which questions are your favorites and what you think about them.”
~Sophie 

95 Questions to Help You Find Meaning and Happiness

95 Questions to Help You Find Meaning and Happiness

At the cusp of a new day, week, month or year, most of us take a little time to reflect on our lives by looking back over the past and ahead into the future.  We ponder the successes, failures and standout events that are slowly scripting our life’s story.  This process of self-reflection helps us maintain a conscious awareness of where we’ve been and where we intend to go.  It is pertinent to the organization and preservation of our long-term goals and happiness.

The questions below will help you with this process.  Because when it comes to finding meaning in life, asking the right questions is the answer.

  1. In one sentence, who are you?
  2. Why do you matter?
  3. What is your life motto?
  4. What’s something you have that everyone wants?
  5. What is missing in your life?
  6. What’s been on your mind most lately?
  7. Happiness is a ________?
  8. What stands between you and happiness?
  9. What do you need most right now?
  10. What does the child inside you long for?
  11. What is one thing right now that you are totally sure of?
  12. What’s been bothering you lately?
  13. What are you scared of?
  14. What has fear of failure stopped you from doing?
  15. What will you never give up on?
  16. What do you want to remember forever?
  17. What makes you feel secure?
  18. Which activities make you lose track of time?
  19. What’s the most difficult decision you’ve ever made?
  20. What’s the best decision you’ve ever made?
  21. What are you most grateful for?
  22. What is worth the pain?
  23. In order of importance, how would you rank: happiness, money, love,health, fame?
  24. What is something you’ve always wanted, but don’t yet have?
  25. What was the most defining moment in your life during this past year?
  26. What’s the number one change you need to make in your life in the next twelve months?
  27. What’s the number one thing you want to achieve in the next five years?
  28. What is the biggest motivator in your life right now?
  29. What will you never do?
  30. What’s something you said you’d never do, but have since done?
  31. What’s something new you recently learned about yourself?
  32. What do you sometimes pretend to understand that you really do not?
  33. In one sentence, what do you wish for your future self?
  34. What worries you most about the future?
  35. When you look into the past, what do you miss most?
  36. What’s something from the past that you don’t miss at all?
  37. What recently reminded you of how fast time flies?
  38. What is the biggest challenge you face right now?
  39. In one word, how would you describe your personality?
  40. What never fails to frustrate you?
  41. What are you known for by your friends and family?
  42. What’s something most people don’t know about you?
  43. What’s a common misconception people have about you?
  44. What’s something a lot of people do that you disagree with?
  45. What’s a belief you hold with which many people disagree?
  46. What’s something that’s harder for you than it is for most people?
  47. What are the top three qualities you look for in a friend?
  48. If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?
  49. When you think of ‘home,’ what, specifically, do you think of?
  50. What’s the most valuable thing you own?
  51. If you had to move 3000 miles away, what would you miss most?
  52. What would make you smile right now?
  53. What do you do when nothing else seems to make you happy?
  54. What do you wish did not exist in your life?
  55. What should you avoid to improve your life?
  56. What is something you would hate to go without for a day?
  57. What’s the biggest lie you once believed was true?
  58. What’s something bad that happened to you that made you stronger?
  59. What’s something nobody could ever steal from you?
  60. What’s something you disliked when you were younger that you truly enjoy today?
  61. What are you glad you quit?
  62. What do you need to spend more time doing?
  63. What are you naturally good at?
  64. What have you been counting or keeping track of recently?
  65. What has the little voice inside your head been saying lately?
  66. What’s something you should always be careful with?
  67. What should always be taken seriously?
  68. What should never be taken seriously?
  69. What are three things you can’t get enough of?
  70. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
  71. What fascinates you?
  72. What’s the difference between being alive and truly living?
  73. What’s something you would do every day if you could?
  74. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
  75. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
  76. What makes you feel incomplete?
  77. When did you experience a major turning point in your life?
  78. What or who do you wish you lived closer to?
  79. If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would your message be?
  80. What’s something you know you can count on?
  81. What makes you feel comfortable?
  82. What’s something about you that has never changed?
  83. What will be different about your life in exactly one year?
  84. What mistakes do you make over and over again?
  85. What do you have a hard time saying “no” to?
  86. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
  87. What’s something that used to scare you, but no longer does?
  88. What promise to yourself do you still need to fulfill?
  89. What do you appreciate most about your current situation?
  90. ..

Read all the questions here

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Today’s Inspiration: Kimberlysnyder.net

“Our liver is such an amazing organ, that is why I love this article so much! What many people don’t know is that our liver has a large impact on how we use, store and burn fat. I hope this article helps you to learn a bit more about the amazing-ness of your body. Take good care of it!”
~Sophie

What Your Liver Can Teach You About Burning Fat

human internal organs lined with vegetables. Liver Benefits

Although your body works as a holistic organism consisting of multiple systems, it is important to look at various organs and systems in order to learn how they affect the overall health of your body. In this installment of “Organ Examination,” we will be looking at your liver.

Anatomy of the Liver

Your liver sits in the upper right-hand side of your abdominal cavity. It is protected by the rib cage, and sits just in front of the gallbladder. It rests on top of your stomach, just below your diaphragm. It weighs around three pounds, and is a dark red color. Your liver has two lobes, separated by a series of ligaments. In each lobe, the liver contains lobules that connect via a complex duct system, which transports bile produced in the liver to the gallbladder and duodenum.

The liver receives blood and oxygenation from two sources. The hepatic artery brings oxygenated blood to the liver, while the hepatic portal vein delivers nutrient rich blood.

The liver is part of your biliary system with the gallbladder and bile ducts, which creates, transports, and stores bile for digestion. It is also part of the digestive system, which breaks the foods you eat down into smaller, more accessible particles. Other organs that work with the liver in the digestive system are the stomach, pancreas, and intestines.

Liver Functions

Your liver performs more than 500 vital functions in your body. While I am not going to list all of them here, I will share some of the most important roles the liver plays.

  1. All blood leaving the stomach and intestines passes through the liver.
  2. When that blood reaches the liver, it processes it, converting nutrients and medications into more usable forms.
  3. The liver contains about 13 percent of the body’s blood at any given time. As the blood passes through the liver, the organ balances the blood’s chemical composition and produces bile from the wasteproducts.
  4. Bile carries those waste products away from the liver, allowing it to continuously detoxify the blood.
  5. It is your body’s main fat burning organ, regulating fat metabolism and carrying fat out of the body via bile.
  6. The liver produces blood proteins necessary for plasma, which is an essential component of blood.
  7. The liver produces cholesterol. While many people think this is a bad thing, cholesterol actually plays an important role in the body. It is the precursor for testosterone and estrogen. Cholesterol also supports cell structure and helps maintain healthy neurological function. Note: This is different than foreign cholesterol, which is derived from animal products.
  8. The liver further detoxifies by removing bacteria from the blood stream. This is essential for healthy immune function. Additionally, a healthy liver produces immune factors that fight disease.
  9. It regulates blood clotting. Inefficient blood clotting can lead to bleeding disorders and anemia, while overabundant blood clotting can lead to an array of health and clotting disorders including embolism and deep vein thrombosis.
  10. It detoxifies, removing harmful medications and toxic substances from your blood.
  11. The liver stores iron, which it processes from hemoglobin.
  12. It converts blood sugar (glucose) to glycogen (stored energy), and then back to glucose (active energy).
  13. It regulates amino acids in the blood.

Effects of an Unhealthy Liver

What happens when your liver doesn’t function properly? An unhealthy liver may obstruct bile flow, resulting in inefficient toxin removal. Resultantly, the liver may fail to remove bacteria from the bloodstream, leading to decreased immunity and increased illness. It may also fail to break down the nutrients you need for health. In some cases, the blood may even bypass an unhealthy liver, turning medications toxic. In extreme cases of liver damage, the liver may develop scarring called cirrhosis, and it may function poorly or not at all.

Substances that Damage the Liver

With all of those functions and negative effects of an unhealthy liver, it’s easy to see why it is so essential to keep your liver healthy. The Beauty Detox Solution is designed to minimize toxins in your body, which supports liver function and keeps you healthy and strong. Some substances, however, can cause liver damage.

  • Chronic alcohol intake
  • Overuse of prescription and over the counter medications
  • Excessive use of herbal remedies
  • High-fructose corn syrup
  • Refined sugar and fructose (including agave)
  • MSG
  • Artificial sweeteners
  • Pesticides
  • Artificial flavors
  • Food dyes
  • Deep fried foods
  • Processed foods

Protecting Your Liver

Your daily habits can help protect this valuable organ.

  • Eat an organic, plant-based diet rich in Omega-3 fats.
  • Cut out caffeine, sugar, artificial sweeteners, and avoid high-fructose corn syrup at all costs.
  • Drink plenty of pure water to flush your liver.
  • Avoid animal products and processed foods.
  • Drink water with organic lemon every day.
  • Start your day with a Glowing Green Smoothie

Now that you know a little more about your liver, you probably understand why maintaining the health of this vital organ is so important. By cleansing your liver and eating a diet that supports healthy function, your body will be much better able to eliminate toxins, fight off disease, and process nutrients from the foods you eat. The cleaner your liver, the more clear and beautiful your skin will become as well.

Read the full article here

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Today’s Inspiration: mindbodygreen.com

“First of all, perfection is an illusion. Also, being perfect would be so boring, I think the concept of perfection is so overrated! I The quest for some form of perfection that people some have is a journey with no satisfaction and no end. When we are looking for a perfect self/situation/anything we tell our present self that we are in some way not good enough. Whenever you notice that you slip back in these kinds of thought patterns, bookmark and read this article!” 
~Sophie 

4 Benefits to Being Imperfect

4 Benefits to Being Imperfect. How to beat Perfection, Ideals.

I vividly remember being in the first grade, and at the end of the year, I won my first award for accumulating the highest GPA in the class. That was when I took my first hit of perfectionism, and it felt good, almost euphoric. For the next seven years of grammar school, I chased that high and made that little, square, marble trophy my goal. Somewhere along the line, my self-worth became entangled in that useless trinket.

It started with my grades, craving the A because the A wasn’t good enough. Then, it spread to my looks, my athletic abilities, my personality, etc., and I started living in polarities (good vs. bad, fat vs. thin, nice vs. mean, and ugly vs. beautiful). When my environment began mirroring them back to me, I assumed they must be true, and my identity became wrapped up in how “good” I could be at everything. “You’re so smart, sweet, and pretty,” I would hear over and over again, and all I could think was that I wasn’t smart, sweet, or pretty ENOUGH.
The quest for perfection is an endless journey many of us have been on since childhood. We somehow think our mistakes or shortcomings are failures or make us less than rather than viewing them as lessons to be learned unique to us an individuals. I was a self-proclaimed perfectionist, and it originated from a message I received purely from society (in no way did my family make me feel this way) that I interpreted as meaning I was only valuable if I was perfect – pretty, intelligent, sociable, and successful. If I received any grade but an A in school, I considered it an F and beat myself up over my perceived “failure.” Then, I started to develop anxiety around EVERYTHING because the idea of not being up to par shook me to my core. I knew nothing but achievement, but what if one day it stopped? Then, who would I be? I feared failure, but most of all, I feared that I would never be “enough.”
Perfection is really just a way of asserting control over areas of life where we feel we have the power to do so. Often, we equate love with perfection causing us to chase impossibly high standards to feel valued and accepted. It is a diversion to fill an empty void that really originates in the spirit with outside experiences. Perfection becomes tied to self-worth, and a shameful belief of inner inadequacy fuels the perfectionist tendencies. Perfection was my drug, and I self-medicated with it so that I did not have to feel. Now, I find my worth in the fact that I simply am and that worth is not contingent upon my achievements. It is strong and never fluctuates because I am and always will be a divine creation.
Below are four benefits to being imperfect.

1. Less Stress – Ditching the “shoulds” and all-or-nothing thinking will allow you to find more peace and enjoy your daily accomplishments and successes while you learn from your mistakes and less than perfect outcomes.

2. Improved Relationships – When you can accept your limitations and imperfections, you give others the permission to be imperfect, as well. As your expectations and impossible standards for yourself lessen, so do those you held for the people in your life. Our outer world is a reflection of our inner world, so when we begin to value ourselves regardless of what we do or achieve in any area, we then begin to value others for who they are and not what they do.

3. Increased Energy – When all of your energy is no longer concentrated on worrying about what you SHOULD be doing and how you SHOULD be doing it, you free yourself up to focus on what really matters.

4. Healthier Self-Image – Accepting and appreciating our imperfections creates room for self-nurturing, compassion, and love. You can begin to appreciate the qualities, characteristics, and experiences that are unique to you without the need to be perfect.

Read more here

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Today’s Inspiration: Positivityblog.com

“Nothing replaces action. We can read and think about things as much as we can but this not guarantee any succes and improvement in real life. Of course it helps a lot to gain knowledge and understanding about something and sometimes this can really open your eyes to something new. However, often taking action can be the hardest part and this article can help you with that. (and taking action on itself of course 😉 ! )”
~Sophie

How to Take More Action: 9 Powerful Tips

“It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”
~Leonardo Da Vinci


To get things done you need to take action. Things seldom happen on their own.
But taking action can be difficult and hard. And so it’s easy to wind up in Lazyville or Procrastinationland a lot. How can you break out of such behaviour and develop a behaviour of taking more action?
Here are 10 tips that you’ll hopefully find useful.

1. Reconnect with the present moment.

This will help you snap out of over thinking and just go and do whatever you want to get done.

This is probably the best tip I have found so far for taking more action since it puts you in a state where you feel little emotional resistance to the work you’ll do. And it puts you in state where the right actions often just seem to flow out of you in a focused but relaxed way and without much effort.
One of the simplest ways to connect with the present moment is just to keep your focus on you breathing for a minute or two. Check out 7 more tips in 8 Ways to Return to the Present Moment.

2. Be accountable to others.

If you tell a bunch of people that you are going to do something then it will be hard to not do it. You don’t want to disappoint them. Or have to face up to them the next time you meet.
If you have a hard time getting going with something get some support. If you for instance workout, do it with a friend to motivate each other to take action – and actually go to the gym – when motivation runs low. Motivating each other and bringing enthusiasm when one of you is feeling low can really help to develop consistency and useful habits.

Think about how you can involve others to help all of you to take more action.
This tip works well. But it can put you in situation where you take action to avoid pain, to avoid judgement. And it can help you create pressure within yourself. Such a state may not always be the best one to be in to take action and perform well. One way to lessen such problems is to use this tip and then when you are about to take action you reconnect with the present moment to quiet negativity within yourself.
3. Be accountable to yourself.

In the long run a more consistent and perhaps healthier way to develop a habit of taking more action is to answer to yourself instead of others. To set your own standards and principles for how you will behave.

The problem with this one is that you are likely to cheat on yourself and rationalize how you don’t need to take action or follow your principles. When the social pressure of having to answer to others isn’t there it’s easy to slip and fall into laziness or procrastination.
But over time you can become more and more consistent with acting according to your own standards. I believe that one of the keys to develop this kind of thinking is to get off a dependence on external validation and be more internally validated.

If you can develop accountability to your own standards then it can be more consistent than the one you get from relying on being accountable to others. It comes from within so it doesn’t have to rely on other, outer circumstances that may fluctuate.
It is also very useful to help you feel good about yourself and to help you grow. If you rely on being accountable to others and their validation then you may grow but also feel confined by what others expect from you. If you are accountable to yourself then you set your limits wherever you want them.

4. Lighten up.

One way to dissuade yourself from taking action is to take whatever you are about to do too seriously. That makes it feel too big, too difficult and too scary. If you on the other hand relax a bit and lighten up you often realize that those problems and negative feelings are just something you are creating in your own mind. With a lighter state of mind your tasks seems lighter and becomes easier to get started with. Have a look at Lighten Up! for more on this topic.

5. Use a limited to-do list.

A to-do list is a simple and great way to remember what you are about to do. But it’s easy to get overly enthusiastic when writing it and putting in to many items. And then when you look at that big list you feel drained and an urge to procrastinate.
But do you need to do all those things?
Think about what the absolutely most important items on the list are. Just two or three. Then put them on a new to-do list. This list will seem less daunting and I have found that it makes it easier to actually take action and get those things done.

6. Choose instead of should.

Here’s a small but useful tip. You don’t really need to do anything. You always choose what to do. Thinking about things this way removes the “shoulds” and “need tos” that take your personal power away and make you feel like you aren’t in control. When you think that you choose to do whatever you do then you regain the control and power. And it becomes easier to take action.

7. Focus on the how instead of the if’s.

What if’s can really mess with your mind. You can spend days, weeks or years thinking about what may happen if you take action. So instead of letting your mind get lost in what if’s focus on the how. In a situation focus on how you can do something, how you can solve a problem or achieve a goal. Do some research if you need to. Or get support and help from other people.

Focusing on the how puts your mind to better use and creates a positive attitude within rather than a negative and uncertain one. This makes it easier to take action without too much hand wringing and time spent over thinking things.

Read the whole article here, enjoy!

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Today’s Inspiration: Lifeboldandbloom.com

“This article really opened my eyes, I find this so inspiring and empowering! I think that this is a great read  for almost everyone. Doing something that may seem scary at first can feel so liberating and can give you a feeling of freedom. I hope this article inspires you to do something that you may have had any doubts about before.”
~Sophie

When You Just Shouldn’t Give A Damn

Part of living a bold life, a fearless life, is knowing when you just shouldn’t give a damn.

Sometimes we must have the courage, the guts, sometimes even the anger, to not care about the possible consequences so that we have the freedom to live life on our own terms.

In spite of the freedoms we’ve won as a nation over the last 236 years, in spite of civil rights, religious tolerance, women’s liberation, sexual freedom, and gay rights, we are in many ways less free to define and pursue happiness than we were when our country was young. In fact, we often have no idea what constitutes real happiness.

And sadly, this is of our own doing.

As we have advanced in technology and communication, we have eroded our capacity for discernment. Discernment is a powerful word with a more powerful meaning: it means “ discrimination; acuteness of judgment and understanding.”

We have lost our ability to discern for ourselves who we really are and what is deeply meaningful and important to us. Our acuteness of judgment and understanding has been dulled by the constant input of ideas and expectations from our culture.

How Information Has Undone Us

We receive more information, news, and subliminal messages in a day than our grandparents received in a year or more. If you are reading this post, you have a computer and likely have been bombarded with advertisements, news flashes, tweets, and enticements to dig yourself even deeper into the labyrinth of the Internet.

Years ago, we were taught our values from our parents and other older, wiser mentors in our communities. It wasn’t all perfect or useful, but much of it was, and the information was based on years of accumulated experience and wisdom. It served as a foundation for personal discernment and self-sufficiency.

Today it seems as though there’s a vast conspiracy to brainwash us with BS. We are led like lemmings off a cliff toward the illusion of happiness, but in reality it’s all smoke and mirrors with nothing substantial to catch us before we hit bottom.

Here are some examples of what I mean.

  • We learn about family life, relationships, and morality from the Kardashians and The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
  • We learn how to find true love in six weeks on The Bachelor and discover the art of intimacy on one of 4.2 million pornographic websites available at the click of a mouse.
  • This weekend you probably witnessed the holiday “tradition” of leaving our loved ones to drive off in our cars before dawn the day after (or day of) Thanksgiving, then to wait in line to spend money on things we don’t need. In fact, in this situation, the brainwashing was so thorough that many people were willing to be trampled (and some injured or killed) in order to get a “bargain.”
  • Women today see more images of impossible beauty standards on a given day than our mothers did during their entire lives. Cosmetic companies, the media, and the fashion industry, have set us up to line their pockets as they milk our insecurities and dreams.
  • We are told we must have the latest electronic gadget (iPhone, iPad, computer, big screen TV, etc.), only to allow these devices to further separate us from those we love.
  • We think in order to be “good” parents, our children must have these same gadgets, be involved in a myriad of extracurricular activities, have a car at 16, and stay financially dependent on us until they are 30.
  • The media talking heads and politicians send us so many conflicting and vitriolic messages that it has become impossible to know what is best or right for our country. They are so focused on making someone else wrong that discernment and creative solutions are lost in the tumult.

The Courage to Live by Your Own Rules

Why have we allowed this to happen? How have we gotten sucked into the vortex of living a false life — a life that we never defined for ourselves?

It takes courage to say, “I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore!”

It takes courage to say, “This is my life, and I’m making the rules here.”

It takes courage to say, “I don’t give a damn what ‘they’ are doing or saying or admonishing or threatening.”

Here are eleven ways I have stopped giving a damn in order to live according to my own personal operating system:

1. I just don’t give a damn about impressing others. I used to worry a lot about what other people thought of me. It left me in a constant state of anxiety about how to act and “who” to be. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t impress everyone, and I was exhausted from trying to figure it out. I’ve taken the time to decide who I really am, and I simply live as myself. It is so liberating.

2.I just don’t give a damn about being right. It used to make me angry when I couldn’t prove my point or win someone to my way of seeing things. I wasn’t rude about it, but inside I thought I knew best. Now I have a beginner’s mind and realize there is more than one truth, and that I can learn from everyone.

3. I just don’t give a damn about having perfect children. Or at least my concept of perfect. They are perfect because they are themselves. But I can no more control their destinies than I can control the seasons or the tides. This poem by Kahlil Gibran on children is one of the greatest lessons I’ve ever learned.

4. I just don’t give a damn about making someone feel guilty. Playing the guilt game is a back-door strategy to manipulate and whine. I state my truth about my feelings and expectations without trying to force someone take action based on guilt.

5. I just don’t give a damn about having more things. I have come to recognize that the more things I own, the more time and energy they drain from my life. I could do with far less and be just as happy — maybe happier.

6. I just don’t give a damn about living up to the expectations of others. Not that I don’t care about others, but I can no longer let them define my choices or actions. As adults, we must take full responsibility for who we are to enjoy the full freedom of living. Sometimes this requires making others angry or disappointing them. There are times to make sacrifices, but only we should decide that for ourselves.

7. …

Read the whole article  here . I hope you enjoyed this one!

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Today’s Inspiration: Positivityblog.com

 

“Self-Esteem is something everybody would like some more of. I like this article because after reading it you really feel like being a bit nicer to yourself. The quotes are lovely as well!”
~Sophie 

 

3 Simple Ways to Start Raising Your Self-Esteem Today

 

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
Buddha

“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.”
Unknown

 

SelfEsteemYour self-esteem is one of the most important things in life. It is one of those things that will make a huge difference for you if you work on it.

As you raise your self-esteem you will for instance:

 

  • Feel more deserving and trusting in yourself. This will allow you to more fully explore your own potential and start going for your dreams and happiness. Instead of holding yourself back in life because you do not think you deserve good things or because of fear of failure, rejection etc.
  • Live as you want. Not just when it comes to your goals and dreams. But also in the way that you will be better at standing up for yourself, asking for what you really want, saying no and to not feel pressured by shoulds or perfectionism.
  • Stop feeling lousy about yourself and start feeling that you are OK and good. Sure, life still has its ups and downs with better self-esteem but those ups and downs also become easier to handle. And if you become more understanding, accepting and loving of yourself then just about any day in life will become better and happier than it used to be.

But that is not the only thing about self-esteem that I wanted to share today. I also wanted to share three simple ways that you can start using today to start raising or to better maintain your own self-esteem.

 

1. The daily self-appreciation journal.

It is easy to get lost in basing your self-esteem on just what you accomplish, on what you get done in a day or week. But basing your self-esteem on just that makes it pretty unstable.

One way help yourself out with that and with appreciating what is good and awesome about you is to use a self-appreciation journal.

You can do that by taking out a pen and notepad (or use a word processor on your computer or cell phone) every evening for a week. There you write down 5 things you appreciate about yourself. But make sure that you do not only write down accomplishments. Also write down good stuff related to your core-self esteem. By that I mean things that always there no matter how you perform at work or in school. It could be things/traits like your sense of humor, your kindness, your honesty, wisdom, creativity and so on.

If you like, continue to make this kind of journaling a habit of yours after the first week is up.

 

2. The stop word or stop-phrase.

We all have an inner critic. The critic can spur you on to get things done and to behave in way that gains acceptance from the people around you. But it can also drag you and your self-esteem down.

The inner critic whispers or shouts thoughts in your mind. It could be thoughts like:

  • You are lazy and sloppy too, now get to work.
  • No one really likes you for who you are.
  • You always fail in relationships.
  • You aren’t good at your job at all and someone will figure that out and throw you out.
  • You are worse or uglier than someone else.

Now, the inner critic can as I mentioned help you to be productive and so on. But there are alternatives that are better. If you want to become more effective then it will for example be healthier and more productive to remind yourself of your major reasons for doing what you do each day. You could write down the most important reasons why you are focusing on this project, on these classes in school and so on and put that note where you will see it every day.

But, as you start going on that other, healthier path, you also have to stop the critic so it does not start to drag you down. You have to talk back to it.

You can do so by simply creating a stop word or stop-phrase that you say or shout in your mind whenever your critic pipes up with a distorted and self-esteem hurting thought.

Simply say: Stop!

Or use something else. I like these two phrases:

  • No, no, no, we are not going there!
  • No, that is just stupid.

They have worked well for me to get the inner critic to shut up. Try these ones out or create one that feels good and works for you.

Then use it to not get dragged down by your own inner critic when it may get triggered by for example criticism or a mistake in everyday life. And as you use the word or phrase and it becomes a habit and as you find healthier paths towards what you want your critic will pop up up less and less.

 

3. Be kind and understanding towards others (and yourself).

By being kinder towards and more understanding of others if becomes easier to do the same to yourself. One simple way to focus on being more understanding and kind when you feel the need to judge someone is to use helpful questions. One I find to be really effective is:

What parts of this person can I see in myself? How is he or she like me?

This one helps me to shift my perspective from what is different and what I feel the need to judge to what we have in common instead. This tears down the mental barriers between us and I can feel closer to and more understanding of this person.

Try it out whenever you feel the need to judge someone, no matter if it is someone close to you or someone you don’t even know.

By doing so it becomes more natural to extend and use this more understanding and kind frame of mind when you view yourself too. And by behaving in this way towards others you will feel better about yourself and in that way raise your self-esteem too.

 

Read more here

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Today’s Inspiration: Wayne Dyer

“Wayne Dyer has so many great ideas and quotes, here are some of my favorites. Recently I started reading the book ‘Real Magic’, it is the first book I read by Wayne Dyer but I love it so far!”
~Sophie 

 

“When you have a vision and you act as if that vision were already here, you create not only the necessary expertise, but you literally become your own miracle worker. If you believe that you could never head up such an undertaking because ‘you don’t have the necessary training, credentials, experience,’ or whatever, then that is what you will act upon. Begin to act as if you were that expert, even if you have to fool yourself in the beginning. If you have enough belief in yourself, and you are ready, the teacher will appear and you will plunge right in and create the credential that you need to get the job completed.”
— Wayne Dyer in the book ‘Real Magic’

 

“Be in a state of gratitude for everything that shows up in your life. Be thankful for the storms as well as the smooth sailing. What is the lesson or gift in what you are experiencing right now? Find your joy not in what’s missing in your life but in how you can serve.”

— Wayne Dyer

 

“Every fall that you take is a gift, and every relapse is a glorious opportunity — after all, without them you can’t manifest the energy to get to a higher place.”

– Dr. Wayne Dyer

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Today’s Inspiration: advancedlifeskills.com

“Being yourself sounds quite easy, or does it? What does being yourself really mean? Do you really know yourself? I think that in there can be so much pressure from the outside world to be a certain way that we can sometimes lose ourselves. Emotions like not feeling good enough, comparing yourself with others and not thinking you are good enough are too common in today’s world. Lets read this article to all get a little bit more in touch with ourselves, even if it sounds a bit corny, haha!”
~Sophie 

 

How to Be Yourself

Why do so many people feel confused about who they really are and how did the issue of personal identity become so challenging? While it may seem like you should automatically know how to be yourself, in reality that is rarely the case.

When you think about it, so many things in life depend on our ability to connect with our true self. After all, how are we supposed to know what we should be doing or who we should be doing it with if we don’t even know who we really are?Be You

What does it mean to be yourself?

From the time we are very young we begin to experiment with a variety of different identities. Because we are impressionable, it is only natural that we try on new versions of ourself at fairly regular intervals. The less inhibited we are, the more readily we will try to imitate whatever appeals to us at the moment.

During these formative years we have no idea who we actually are or who we will become, so we take our cues from those around us. Of course, at that early age we have no idea that most of those people are struggling with their own identity issues. Because we are young and inexperienced, we just naturally assume that by the time we get a little older we will figure out how to be ourselves.

The leverage of expectations

The expectations of those around us also exert a strong influence on our identity. Many of the choices we think we have made in life were probably programmed into us by the expectations of those whose approval we craved. It is amazing the degree to which people will adapt to gain the approval of others.

Then there are the expectations that we put on ourselves because we think we have to. This could include anything from our grade point average in school, to the job we would walk away from if it weren’t for our financial obligations.

After awhile the line gets blurred

Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not saying that imitating others or living up to expectations is inherently bad. All I am saying is that these influences can make it difficult to be yourself because they tend to confuse the issue.

Over time, it can become increasingly more challenging to identify our true self apart from those external influences. The line gets blurred to the point where we might have a full and busy life and still find ourselves saying: “I don’t really know who I am.” Have you ever felt that way?

To be yourself you need to find yourself

The phrase “find myself” gets over 5 million searches per month in google. That shows how common it is for people to feel disconnected from their true self and how interested they are in reestablishing that long lost connection. How about you, are you interested in learning how to be yourself in a more complete and meaningful way?

Even for those who feel somewhat in touch with their true nature, the constant barrage of carefully crafted advertisements coupled with the pressure of external expectations can make it extremely difficult to maintain that core connection. So, figuring out how to be yourself is a necessary first step, but to continue to be yourself day in and day out, you need a way to stay grounded and connected.

6 ways to be yourself regardless of external influences

I have identified six vital elements necessary for establishing and maintaining your connection with your true and authentic self.

1. Internal alignment. The absence of internal conflict is the only way to be at peace with our true self. Any misalignment between our life and our core standards will prevent us from being totally honest with ourselves. Self honesty is a prerequisite to internal harmony. To be yourself means that you need to identify your core standards and align with them.

2. Know your personal values. We all have a built in set of personal values. If we lose touch with those values we lose touch with our true self. When we violate those values we violate our relationship with the person that we really are. To truly be yourself, it is vital that you identify those values and make every effort to live by them.

3. Pick your pain and pleasure paradigms. As humans we are programmed to move away from pain and toward pleasure. To feel good about our pursuits and goals they need to represent some form of pleasure. To avoid the things that are out of alignment with our core standards and personal values, they need to represent pain on some level. If you properly assign these pain and pleasure paradigms they will fully support your natural tendency to be yourself.

4. Choose your passions carefully. You might think that you have very little control over your passions, but nothing could be further from the truth. To make sure that our passions align with our true self they need to be in harmony with our values and standards. Passions are easily influenced by what we think about and what we take in through our five senses. These are all within your control.

5. …

 

Read the whole article at advancedlifeskills.com

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Today’s Inspiration: Pluginid.com

“Everybody cares what other people think, at least in some degree. It is a very natural thing to do but sometimes this can hold us back from doing the things in life we really want to, it can even become a large source of stress. This article will help you to deal better with feelings like this. Even though this is something that happens automatically and we cannot completely control things like this, we can ‘intervent’ a little to handle these emotions better. I hope this is useful to you!”
~Sophie 

stop caring

The Secret to Not Caring What People Think

Whether it is becoming plugged into our identity, quitting alcohol or even becoming more confident, our worry of what people think can really affect us. From the jobs we choose, to the people we date and the risks we take, we often limit our actions through fear of criticism or judgment from others.

This is a serious issue, and a problem many people experience, therefore I’ve taken my personal experience and the advice of others to reveal the secrets to not caring what people think.

Why we Care what people Think

First of all, I want to say that sometimes caring what people think is not a bad idea; the part of our mind that produces this fear is often in place to protect us. For example, if we didn’t care what anybody thought then we might go out and kill somebody or run through shopping centers completely naked. These are extreme examples but should help you understand why the mindset is in place.

I’ve spent months trying to understand why we care what people think, and as (surprisingly) usual, the answer is relatively simple and the heart of what this website is about. The reason we care what people think is because we base our identity on their judgments of us, positive or negative. Because we think that part of our identity is how people view us (funny, cool, confident, shy) then we must protect that so that our identity is not affected.

What people say about you is none of your business
– Sean Stephenson

Of course, your identity is not what people think of you, it is just…you. If you are doing something that makes you feel guilty within, then this is something you will have to deal with beforehand.

How to (partially) not Care what People Think

Personally, I don’t think it is possible to completely stop caring what people think of us, and I don’t think that is such a bad thing. We are social creatures and that is how we learn, if we are acting like an idiot and someone notices then informs us, we may realise that we could have been acting more appropriately.

I realise that this is a very important topic to a lot of people – myself included – and therefore I have gone into detail with the following information to ensure that there is enough content to answer most questions and concerns. I was surprised to find that there are nearly 4,000 people on 43things.com that wish they could stop caring what people think.

Imagine how different the world would be if we could all push to do the things we want to do, be the people we want to be and live how we want to live. Imagine how different the world would be if we were all plugged in…that is the aim of this business.

1. Stop Over-thinking

Although this is a website about empowering the readers, you are not the most important person in the world, at least not to others. It is probably in the majority of occasions that you think you are being judged where people don’t actually care for the thing you are worrying about. Do you judge every single person that you meet, probably not.

If you do, you might want to sort out that side of your life first as there’s no wonder you care what people think of you. The best way to test it is to push your limits a little, do something that is a bit out of the ordinary for you and see how people react. Chances are that only your “friends” might notice the change and make comments, but a random stranger really won’t care.

2. Put things into perspective

To people that aren’t naturally concerned what others think about them, having an issue with it seems quite strange or even silly. The reason is that when you put ‘issues’ like this under the microscope you can see they are really not worth having. You only get ONE chance at life in the physical world and you are going to allow other people’s thoughts make it less enjoyable?

Sounds silly now doesn’t it.

Apart from the fact that life really is too short to worry about things like this, the other aspect is that people’s feelings change. For example, say one moment people insult you for wearing yellow trainers, therefore you think they shouldn’t be worn and that is the last time you wear them. What if this persons opinions change, and they start wearing yellow shoes themselves; is that the only time you’ll put your trainers back on?

I used to know a boy who was bullied for growing his hair long, yet within 6 months, more than half the boys in my year (including those who insulted him) grew theirs as well. People change their minds, so what they judge you on now might not matter in the future. Are you going to wait until something is deemed cool or acceptable to be the person you want to be? Hopefully questions like this help you put things into perspective.

3. Be confident in your actions

Seeing as it’s likely we’ll always have some thought towards the feelings of others, what if we could really eliminate the amount of times it happens? Well, you can. The trick, if you want to call it that, is to simply be more confident in the decisions and actions you are taking.

Have you never seen someone that might be wearing something out of the ordinary or acting different to the surrounding crowd but things just seem normal and they aren’t being judged?

If you are wearing yellow shoes and are clearly uncomfortable in your choice then people are going to target you because they can see that and they probably want to feel good about themselves. However, if you can wear the shoes with pride and confidence, whilst clearly not caring what other people think then you’ll notice the negative reactions to be very small if any.

4. Learn to control your emotions

When you start to try things like pushing your limits or simply being more confident, you will undoubtedly have mixed emotions in your head. From stress, worry and fear, to relief and happiness, it can be a bit of a mind roller coaster; that is where controlling your emotions comes in.

The simple practice I learned from Eckhart Tolle goes a bit like this:

  • Be conscious of an emotion inside you i.e. fear or worry
  • Observe it within your mind
  • Notice that if you are observing it, it can’t be a part of you
  • Watch the emotion disappear

As soon as you observe an emotionyou are separating yourself from it and thus it can no longer exist.

5.

..

Read the rest of the article at pluginid.com

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